


Wanting What I Can't Have

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-09
Updated: 2006-04-09
Packaged: 2019-05-15 16:02:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14793587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Donna gets her job and finds out she's in love with Josh and shedoesn't know what to do





	Wanting What I Can't Have

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Wanting What I Can't Have**

**by:** Tracy 

**Character(s):** Donna Moss  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance / Drama   
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Summary:** Donna gets her job and finds out she’s in love with Josh and she doesn’t know what to do  
**Feedback:**  
**Author's Note:** This is the first story in the series **From Nothing To Everything**. This is also my first fan fiction I hope you like it. I would like it if you would comment on it to help me in any way or to complement me. 

When you’re a little girl you dream if the perfect man, the man you’re going to marry. I always thought that this “perfect man” would love me with his whole heart and the same for me to him. We would have the “house” with the white picket fence. Man, was I so innocent. 

When I drove to Nashua, New Hampshire to the Barlet for America campaign headquarters’ I thought maybe I shouldn’t be here. Then a woman with bright red hair asked “Can I help you?” 

‘Um… could she?’ 

“I wanted to help.” ‘Great response, idiot.’ 

“Well just pick up one of the phones that are ringing over there.” Pointing to the table where people talking and answering phones. 

“Thank you.” I said turning back to her, but she was already gone. Oh well. I walked to the table and as I was walking I passed this office, which really looked like a small closet, the phone was ringing. Well she did say just pick up one of the ringing phones. 

Before I picked the phone I looked around to see whose office this was. JOSH LYMAN POLITICAL DIRECTOR, okay. 

I answered the phone “Josh Lyman’s office.” 

I looked on his desk, which looked like a tornado blew through it, for a calendar or a planner. I found the planner and told the guy on the phone he was in a meeting and he would call him back later. I hung up the phone and put the planner back on the desk. 

Just then I felt someone’s eyes on me and turned around. There was a guy whose eyes were brown and they were so beautiful with his chestnut brown hair, unruly, and he was casually leaning on the frame of the office. 

He spoke “Who are you?” 

God he sounds almost as good as he looks. Oh he’s looking for an answer. 

“Donna Moss.” I said “Who are you?” I asked. 

“Josh Lyman.” 

“Ah” 

“Yes.” 

“This is your office.” 

“Yes, why are you in it?” 

“I’m your new assistant” 

“Did I have an old one?” 

Oh of course not, damn I messed up! 

“Maybe not, the women said to come back here.” 

That’s not totally untrue. 

“What was her name?” 

What was her name? I forgot to asked shit! Maybe it was Betty? 

“Betty” 

“You mean Margaret?” 

I guess that’s her name. 

“Yes” 

He looked unsurely at me, like he wanted to believe me but couldn’t. 

“Um… I think I’ll have a talk with Margaret.” And he walks away. No, I have to talk to him. 

“Mr. Lyman!” He turned around looking expectably at me. What do I say to him? 

“Did you know that before Franklin Roosevelt was on the dime it was called the Liberty dime?” 

He looked confused, who wouldn’t, oh my god he is going to get the men with the white outfits and have them carry me away and put me in a straight jacket. 

“What? Why did you just say that?” He asked with a genuine wonder. 

Why did I say that? Because when I get nervous I do stupid things. Um… oh what the hell? 

“Because I want to work here and if I can as your assistant. “ After a moment of silence. “So… Can I?” 

“Can you?.... What?” 

Man is he dense. 

“Be your assistant?” 

“Do you know how to type well and fast, can you file things with organization, and bring me coffee whenever I need it? Oh and I would need you to be able to talk and plan things for and with high ranking officials do you think you can do that?” 

“The answers to your multiple questions are yes, yes, no, I will not bring you coffee because I am not a waitress, and I can plan things and talk to high ranking officials.” 

He looked amused, he smiled gently and he started to chuckle. 

“Well we will talk more about the coffee, but sure you’re hired.” 

“What? Really? Thank you so much!” I Squealed 

“Umm… Yeah you’re welcome. So… are you hungry? Because I could go for a hamburger and fries do you want to come?” 

“Sure, but I can’t order fries because they are fattening so I’ll just eat yours.” 

“What? Why? Wouldn’t they be still fattening?” 

“No, because they are yours so they are less fattening.” 

“You know you make no sense, right? But I have a feeling that’s going to happen a lot so I will just call it Donna logic.” 

“Call it what you want, but you know I’m right.” 

“Whatever.” 

We walked out of his office and as we walking out the door, which Josh held open for me; I felt his hand on my back guiding me. You would think it would be weird or uncomfortable, but it wasn’t it was nice and it felt safe. 

And that’s how I came to get my job as Joshua Lyman’s assistant. 

Through the campaign we traveled a huge amount on buses, cars, and planes. Because wherever Josh went I went so we got to know each other better at night when we couldn’t sleep. We would always sit next to each other and talk about our families and what our favorite foods, vacations places were, and we fought over the different side arguments of bills. Sometimes he would get into these talks about bills, laws, congress, or whatever and I would just sit there listening and learning. We would fall asleep with my head on his shoulder and with his arm around mine. 

During the day he would go to meetings and I would type up the notes he needed and memos about the meetings he already had so he can give them Leo. In between this we would banter, oh my god I love bantering with Josh it is almost like flirting. We both do it so well, he would say something like. 

“Hey Donna could you get me a burger?” 

And I would say “Do I look like a waitress?” 

“No, you look like my assistant and getting me a burger would be assistaning me.” 

“Well I am assistaning you by helping you exercising.” 

“How are you doing that?” 

“I am doing this by making you walk down the street to get one and oh when you’re down there could you get me one? Thanks.” And I would go back to typing on my computer. 

At night we would eat dinner together and work. Josh would order the food, most of the time it was Chinese, and I would clean his desk and office and get the work ready. We would sit on the floor and eat and I would read the memos and important reading material and make index cards, while he would fall asleep. When he did this I would yell in his ear and that would scare that crap out of him so after awhile he just stay awake and play on his computer until I was done. Then, he would read the index cards and I would clean up the mess that we, well mostly he, made. This happened a lot because there weren’t enough hours in the day, between getting Governor Barlet elected and trying to sleep, which was about five to four hours a night. 

One night in my old, crappy car I was thinking about my job and josh. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about him, not just in a ‘he’s my boss’ way, but as a friend almost like me best friend because he knew so much about me and my life. Tonight though I’m thinking about my daydream I had today. I was at my desk making calls for meetings that Josh needs. I was about to dial the phone when he came swagging towards me. Sam was with arguing with him about something and Josh was moving his hands around describing what he was saying. 

He looked so passionate with unruly hair and his dress shirt sleeves rolled up. She thought about undoing the buttons on his shirt, kissing his lips; where he talked passionately from; with her hands in his hair. Stop! What are you thinking? This is not the way I should be thinking about my boss. I was interrupted by Josh talking to her. 

“Donna are you listening to me?” 

“Um, yeah! What did you want?” 

Josh looked at her with an amused look he was going to say something, but let it go. 

“Who do you think is better Bevis or Butthead?” 

“Josh what are you talking about?” 

“You know those cartoon characters.” 

“Josh get away from and go to your meeting with the Governor.” 

“Yes, dear.” He said sarcastically. 

“Oh shut up and go, I have work to do.” As he was leaving I said “Bevis”. 

He turned around with a grin and said “See I knew it.” He turned to Sam “Told you Bevis was better than Butthead” He turned and went to the meeting. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Back in Donna’s Car

I can’t believe this, why did I think about Josh that way? Why? Hold on lets calm down and think of why I did this. Okay. Maybe if I answer some questions I’ll get an answer to this. 

Every morning the first thing I think about is? 

Josh. The last thing in my mind before I fall asleep is..? 

Josh 

Josh is my best friend why am I thinking about this? 

Because… I? I love him? No, that cannot be true, of course not why would I love him? Why would he love me? 

Maybe I should tell him. Let’s think up a pro and con list to help me in this weird and crazy idea. 

Pros would be well one- I never felt this way about anyone before. 

Two- We wouldn’t have to hide our feelings any more. 

Three- One should be counted twice. 

Cons would be well the biggest I guess first. 

One- If I tell him and then we go become a couple I could really hurt his career because it can become a sandal. People will think I got my job because I was sleeping with my boss. And then if it gets out , the rumor, then the governor would have to fire me and that would look bad because it would be the woman got fired why not the man? Yea I don’t think this is going to happen anytime soon. I don’t think I need a second reason I think the first pretty says it all. So I guess I got my answer I am not going to be the one held responsible for him losing his job. 

I will just sit back and talk with my best friend. Put my love for him on the back burner. Just have fun and do my job with Josh. Waiting for something to happen and/or change. 


End file.
